HEALTH – “My First Blog” Martyn Blacklock

“The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible.”

Arthur C. Clark

My first blog. I really wondered how I could possibly start to explain what I’m looking to achieve through this and it’s taken me a while. As I have been looking back over the most amazing year of my life I considered what has made it so amazing. It is because I went into what I considered the impossible, I had the courage to trust where I am meant to be, what I’m meant to do and continue to explore the limits of the possible as I maintain my belief in the potential of myself and others.

As I started this year I had a plan: a conservative, safe plan that I would stick to, achieving about half of what I wanted to, to ensure I didn’t feel any fear of failure. I would take a sabbatical from my well paid corporate job to explore a niggling desire to work as a counsellor and to do my yoga teacher training. Every day I thought about how I could work with others to share how these challenging practices have brought me closer to who I really am and offer the opportunity for others to do the same. It was a dream, it is still my dream, but it definitely feels more of a reality now.

My plan was a reflection of the fact that I am a very organised person, I have to be; not only for the practical aspects of my life, but also to ensure I don’t fall into a scary trap of being how I used to be. I didn’t know what I wanted from life, surrounded myself with people who didn’t want to see who I really was (or perhaps I didn’t want them to see who I really was), feared I wouldn’t have a certain amount of money and possessions, stuck to safe jobs and activities that “normal” people did, hid behind this facade to ensure I wasn’t visible; because who would want to know the real me? I had begun to work on why I was in this place through my counselling and yoga training but it felt like I needed to externalise this now, but how?

On the 23rd April this year I was about to go into my usual Monday morning meeting and I had a moment where listened to myself so clearly and confidently like I never had before. The meeting was to justify why my very capable and professional team hadn’t achieved 2 or 3 out of the seemingly infinite measures to satisfy the insatiable appetite of the bank to be bigger and better, but actually getting it very wrong.   I believed in my team and had spent many years just about getting the bank to do the same, constantly proving to them, in their ways (which were always changing), what I instinctively knew and trusted; just so I could pick up my salary at the end of the month. I suddenly said to myself, “I don’t need to do this anymore…could I leave? Could I…? Yes. I am going to, I actually am.” It was the scariest thing I have ever done, to pick up the phone to my manager and resign there and then, but something inside me just told me it was the right thing to do and worry about how later. I could do what was right for me, be who I knew I was and work on improving this in my way, the best way! At last!

From this point I had a calmness inside, peaceful. But I had no plan, no idea of how it would work out professionally or the impact it would have on my personal life, I was really scared and at the same time recognised a fire in me that hadn’t been there. I recognise this feeling now whenever I make a decision, it is my instinct telling me I need this in my life, “don’t be scared, let go, trust yourself that you will do the best you can with this, however difficult, and it will reveal further truths about who you really are and let those around you see this.”

There have been so many aspects of my new work and my life, that have and continue to take twists and turns I could never have anticipated. This is a list of some of the things I have achieved that I never thought possible:

  • I allow things to be the way they are, I don’t try to control myself or others

  • I see the best in myself and look for my goodness at all times, this allows me to extend this to others, look for their goodness at all times

  • I do what I want to do, because I want to! I live by my rules

  • I don’t always have to be organised, I have no requirement of myself to be anything other than what I am at the present time, I am too multi-faceted to be reduced to a set of traits

  • I have around 250 new clients from my PiYo classes and this gives me more joy than I can put into words, especially as they begin to explore improving themselves in other ways following our classes

  • I have begun my aerial yoga teacher training, I finally teach at Carlisle Yoga!

  • Cumbria is my forever home, I know I will stay here

  • I can’t do this alone and I definitely don’t have to

  • I have met so many inspirational people, locally and globally, through networking and have the good fortune to be able to work with them

  • My counselling practice is fully operational and I have regular clients, I am a real counsellor practicing as I know is right for my and my clients!

  • My dream of being able to explore myself and my purpose through emotional and physical well-being and offering this to others is being realised

  • I accepted that I want to become a parent and I am taking steps towards this, despite my unorthodox circumstances. I believe this will be my biggest challenge and I know it is right for me, it is scary and this is taken to a new level as it involves another human being but I trust myself to do a great job

  • No matter how impossible, or difficult things are, it will all be ok

I just started to think about the fact that this blog is quite self-indulgent and judged myself for that, but then I thought about how this is a great thing. If others were so self-indulgent, appreciated how amazing they are as who they already are, had the confidence to share this and really believed in themselves then I would be inspired by this. This is what I am doing here, using the tools I have in working on myself and offering this to others. My business The Self Coach is about working with others as they are becoming the best version of themselves, by whatever means best works for them. Then we can take this to our close relationships and in our communities and beyond, it is that limitless! That is why I want to continue to share my experiences of this work with you in future blogs, share clients’ experiences and I know, whatever course it takes, this is going to be an amazing year we all have ahead of us.

My next blog will be about sharing my “impossible” dreams for the next year and thereby setting the scene for the content of future blogs. Although, in the spirit of being honest and taking a risk given this has served me so well thus far, I will admit that I am scared about doing so in case I fail. However, I will choose not to see this as failure, just a move towards where I am meant to be, which I can’t know before I know so I will just trust in the process!

Best wishes and I look forward to next time.

Martyn 🙂

*The opinions expressed are the bloggers own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the World Health Innovation Summit.

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